Samantha Gray aka Amanda Grayson
by ceirdwyn24
Summary: What if Spock's Mom lived? What if She was immortal, like Captain Jack? What if she knew The Doctor and said Time-Lord saved her from being pulled into the black hole? What if she joined Starfleet and served under a new name on the enterprise?
1. Chapter 1

She was perplexed to meet him here. So perplexed she forgot to slip in character.

"I thought, I thought you were dead mother?" Spock

She smiled a small smile.

"And I thought you were 27." She stated and then cocked her head studying him. Then her eyes widened.

"Oh, I see, you traveled through the black hole crossing into the past into an alternate universe. I take it I never informed you of my … uh special circumstances?"

He looked at her blankly and disbelieving.

"I mean uh I take it I died of old age around a 100 or so?"

"Yes." He answered.

"Uh ok. Spock lets go somewhere where we can talk."

They went to her quarters at the station. And she engaged privacy mode and also took a pen and screwed it.

He looked at her questioningly.

"Anti listening device. It stops any bugs from transmitting and scrambles our sound waves if we are more than a couple meters away."

He raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating."

"Lets get to the matter at hand shall we?"she asked.

He nodded.

"Ok. I will tell you. But first I will show you something."

She did something that shocked him. She took a small knife from her belt. With a quick movement stabbed the back of her hand, and left the knife in.

She then extended her injured hand to Spock. He looked at her aghast.

"Spock check if the wound is real. Check to see if the knife really pierced through my hand. And then when you have ascertained that it is so. Pull the knife out and watch my hand carefully."

He made a slightly choked sound. "Go on." She urged gently.

He checked and then he carefully pulled out the knife and watched her hand. The muscles knit themselves together before his very eyes. And then the skin followed. The slightly red skin lightened. And then … why then you could see no sign of wound or trauma. This happened in a matter of seconds.

Spock looked at her shocked and amazed.

"Would you like the short version, the cliff notes version, or the long version?" she smiled.

He pulled up one eyebrow. "I believe the short and cliff notes version would be a good place to start."

"Well short version." She breathed in deeply. "this can go no further than this room." She paused. "I am immortal."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I mean that one day I stopped ageing. And I continued. I was shot, stabbed, beheaded, quartered, drowned, blown up, crushed, burnt alive and nuked. I once even flew a spaceship into a sun. Nada. I just woke up reformed on some planet."

"How is that possible? How old are you?"

"Ah well now, that is a very good question. A question that not even the time-lords were able to answer. That is how I got away from Vulcan by the way. A Time-Lord friend of mine picked me up. The last in existence in fact. That is why I wasn't sucked up by the singularity. Not that I would have died. Permanently at least but I much prefer this universe. "

"Time-Lord? I thought they were a myth."

"Well you were myth-taken." She smiled.

"You misspoke you meant to say ..."

She cut him off. "I said precisely what I wanted to say. And don't pretend you didn't understand my play on words young man. That may work on others son, but not on your mother."

He smirked. And then looked at her sadly, longingly, lovingly and disbelievingly all at the same time.

She gave him a small soft smile. The sort of smile he remembered. And he got up from the chair kneeled down in front of her and hugged her tightly. Weeping silently.

She gently hugged back and led him to her couch. There they sat down. Her touch was familiar to him. It held the same warmth he remembered. The same love.

And she softly sang to calm him

Good night my angel time to close your eyes, and save questions for another day, I think I know what you've been asking me, I think you know what I have been trying to say….

He calmed down when she sang the so familiar lullaby. He collected himself and straightened. He looked at her calmly.

"Tell me Mother. Tell me at least the cliff notes. " He frowned. "How… uh."

"How old am I?" she smiled.

He nodded.

"I don't know. I honestly don't. I was found as a baby on earth. By a tribe calling themselves Mikran ish vahnka. The closest translation would be Mammutoi Lion Camp. I was taken in and brought up by them. I cannot tell you when this was. But I remember going on mammoth hunts in my youth and for many generations afterwards. So I really do not know how old I am. I could be anywhere from 15 to 30 thousand years old. I stopped ageing sometime between 20 and 30. I stopped counting a long time ago." She explained.

"How...I mean…is it.., "he ordered his thoughts. " You remember everything of your life?" Spock.

"Yes I am cursed with a very good memory. I cannot help but believe my brain was designed to hold all those memories." She answered sadly.

"But you married my father. There was a bond. You and he melded." Spock.

"Yes but whenever I create a persona I fabricate a lot of memories. And compartmentalize the rest of my mind. When I do this in very deep meditation. I am in my normal day life barely aware that there is more to me than the persona I built up. It is something the time lords taught me. They are very telepathically inclined and helped me order my mind. They also injected me with nanites. They basically mimic my body ageing. This allows me to live normally. Or as normal as is possible. You see the time lords do not know where I am from and what makes me the way I am. My natural healing ability starts to overwrite the Nanites when they get life threatening so when I start to die of old age." She paused and collected her thoughts. "What I am is not genetic. There is nothing extraordinary about my DNA. Also I don't think any Vulcan could survive a full meld with me. Vulcans aren't made to carry thousands of lifetimes' memories. It would fry their brains. The one Time-Lord I shared my mind with died actually. He had to regenerate in order to assimilate everything. This caused him forever having quite a few of my character traits. "

"To live forever. The things you could see and do. The things you could teach."

"The people you lose. Civilizations falling again and again. War again and again. Watching your own flesh and blood children die of old age. Watching your great grand children's great grand children die of old age. Knowing it never ends. Never having peace. No other choice but to go on. Knowing no matter what, you will survive. No matter how much you want to die." She replied.

"Oh god. Mother. The pain. The endless pain."

"I am quite aware." She said sadly. " There are happy times, there are bad times. That is why I very often create these personas. To have a brief period of normalcy. It is not like I have any choice."

"What is different now? You seem fully cognizant of everything?"

"I was going to go to your father and tell him of myself and share some things with him. But then I learned he had re-married and his wife is already pregnant."

"I thought, I always believed he,…" he was slightly angry on her account.

"Spock, in the face of the near extinction of the Vulcan race. It was the logical thing to do. And he always tried to be as logical as possible. It is who he is. And I cannot fault him for that. But also the persona Amanda died that day. Yes she is still here within me. But I am also a lot more."

"So what are you doing here in the space port? In a security officer uniform no less?"

She smiled an impish gleam in her eyes. " I am joining the crew of the Enterprise. "

"You cannot be serious? Are you aware..!

"Of course I am. I am joining to protect you. The other you. The younger you is actually aware of me. He met me at the academy. He thinks I just happen to look a lot like his now dead mother. And before you ask, I could not prevent the destruction of Vulcan due to Paradox. If I did I would cease to exist in that form, but if I would cease to exist in that form I wouldn't be able to prevent the destruction and it would occur again causing me existing again. So you see as much as I hated it, I had to let it happen.

I learned a lot of stuff like that from the time-lords. Knowing when I can change something and when I can't.

Another thing I learned from the Time-lords is seeing time-lines and calculating probabilities. And I can see a lot of Time-line disturbances. I think part of it is the universe trying to right itself. A part is the bond between the younger you and the captain. I see a certain possibility that I wish to ensure happens."

"You wish for us to be T'hy'la. True T'hy'la. In all senses of the word?"

"Yes I do. Hm let me guess in your time line it either happened very late or it happened not completely?"

"Yes to both. Only after I tried to become a Kolinhar adept I confessed to myself. And while my Jim and I shared a deep friendship and shared a brotherly love I always felt the last was missing. So did a part of Jim but he…he was lost before we could explore more."

She smiled softly. "Really Kolinhar adept? Really not good. You know I knew Surak. Purging all emotion and controlling it to overcome the passionate nature of a Vulcan are not the same. It is meant to help you not base your decisions of emotions. Perhaps I can help this time around."

"You knew Surak? But he lived centuries ago" she just smiled. He continued. "You helped last time too. You looked at me and him. With that annoying knowing glint in your eyes and that secretive smile like you know something I don't."

"Yeah that sounds like me. " She smiled.

"It is most astounding. You are so old. You can't even remember the time of your birth."

"Well technically no one can actually "remember " the time of their birth." I smirked.

"And one would never guess your age due to such cheeky remarks."

"I know." She smiled.

He cocked his head. "Do you know everything?"

"No, but I know enough." She smiled kindly. "Mind you life would be frightfully boring if I did know everything."

He thought and then asked. "Would you like to see my life? To see what is to come, to be better prepared?"

She thought for a bit. And then decided she would have to just use her probability sense to decide when to act on said knowledge and when not.

"Yes Spock. I would like that very much. Perhaps with your help. Both you's, I can make the universe hold on longer to its civilized shape. If we meld know this, I will shield my mind, not because I don't trust you but to protect you. I will see far more than you. In fact, perhaps it would be better you would let me lead the meld. "At his surprised look she answered. " Yes another thing I learned from the time-lords."

And with that now security officer Samantha Gray held to knowledge of another Lifetime in her mind.


	2. Chapter 2 The Jungle

Samantha Gray or Sam as she was known surveyed the crowd of fresh out of the academy cadets that where to be her security force.

With so many ships destroyed and soldiers killed by Nero the training for the new fleet had been shortened. And she had risen through the ranks quickly eventually being assigned here. The Enterprise.

"Listen people. I will train you. And I will teach you. What you will learn might someday be the only thing keeping you alive. People tend to grow complacent when inside such a powerful ship. Feeling protected. But that is a wrong thing to think. I will be harsh with you and hard. And most of you will undoubtedly come to hate me. And that is fine. As long as you are and stay alive to do it. "Sam announced."

"First Rule, "Don't die". I will give you tips and teach you tricks to stay alive. I will teach you to fight fair and I will teach you to fight dirty. "

"Why will you teach us to fight dirty. Isn't that dishonorable?" a young man maybe 20 interrupted.

"Because boy, honor doesn't matter. Out there if you fight honorably in the wrong situation you will die. And then where will you be? Honorably dead? Pointlessly, stupidly dead I say. If you fight for real outside of the ring, outside of tournaments there are no rules but one. And that one rule is the rule of the Jungle. The stronger and/or smarter one will survive. The rule of the Jungle cannot be reasoned with. You cannot talk with it sensibly over tea. It is in the end incontrovertible, unassailable and absolutely true. And that is why we are here."

She now had everybody's full attention.

"We, the Starfleet, is just another example in history for an organization keeping the jungle at bay so to speak. This is what makes civilization possible. Makes the distinction good and evil possible. Which makes it possible for other rules than that of the jungle to apply. It is the reason we have amenities you all take for granted. Amenities like basic rights and justice.

Don't take them for granted. They are not to be taken for granted anywhere that is not federation. Remember the law of the jungle. Never forget that civilization is a temporary state of affairs and in the end the law of the jungle will return. Each of you and every single person in this service is keeping it at bay. But you can only do so if you are alive. And I will make damn sure that you have the best pre-conditions so remember this. Hate me all you like but remember why I am pushing you, because in the grand scheme of things each of you is all that stands between Civilization and the Jungle."

"Any questions?" she looked around sternly, No one dared to speak. "Good, now we will start "

And she started by pushing everybody to their own personal limit. And what she said happened. Most people hated her. Called her psychotic. And other less than flattering things But they remembered her speech, remembered what she said during training and therefore each and every person did whatever they could, gave what they had to give. Pushed themselves to their limits.

She repeated her speech before every first class. And soon everybody knew her.

After a few weeks chief of security Sam sat down in the officer's mess.

She sat down across from the captain. She eyed him sternly.

He sighed. "Let me guess you want to do an extra class for all the officers and you want me, Spock and every other officer to go through the same grueling training as the rest of the crew."

"Precisely captain, I am so glad we understand each other." She said with a quiet sweet smile that made him somewhat afraid. His Mom had always looked at him that way when she would dole out aweful chores as punishment for something he had done. The chores where always grueling.

He would come to find his fears had been accurate.

The officers arrived in the gym the next day.

She gave them the same speech but with an addendum. "Hate me all you like but remember why I am pushing you, because in the grand scheme of things each of you is all that stands between Civilization and the Jungle. You are the captain, you are the first officer. And the rest of you are mostly the heads of your department. In anything relating to your job or department I have no authority. But if we are on a planet, moon or whatever, if I have the slightest hint that it could be unsafe you will follow my lead. I cannot do my job of protecting you, keeping you safe if you disobey me. Is that clear?" she was especially looking at the captain.

Kirk was opening his mouth. She cut him off before he could speak. "I do not care if you think you know better. I am trained for this. I am not unreasonable. If you can provide me with a rational explanation why you disagree I can be persuaded. However if I am not convinced I expect you to follow my lead." She saw that Spock was raising an eyebrow.

"Yes Commander?"

"While your logic is sound I submit that sometimes risks must be taken. If it comes down to saving oneself or a great number of others, the life of one or few do not outweigh the potential to save the greater number."

"I agree commander and if such a situation comes up and the odds are it will, I shall follow the lead of the captain or you. At the same time I will still be trying to protect you to the best of my ability. I do not care if the odds are not in our or my favor. The moment you stop trying to survive is the moment you are as good as dead not before."

"I commend you for your determination. Even if it is most illogical."

She smiled coldly. "Illogic has its merits. Illogic excludes the possibility of a no win scenario. And that is what a survivor in essence is. Someone that does not believe in no-win scenarios. Which is why we humans have survived even the darkest times and will continue to do so. Now as much as I would like to get into a discussion on the merits of illogic I am here to train you all. I will push you all to your limits and assess your abilities. Commander Spock I have devised a separate test for you, as the parameters under which you might show strain are different than humans. I need to know what each crewmember is capable of to accurately estimate possible and probable behavior in various scenarios, as well as multiple courses of action available at any given time."

"Logical." Spock mumbled.

So she instructed the others to run on the tred-mils. She explained the gravity would gradually increase until they could go no more.

"Commander I have specially programmed that tred-mil to start out with a gravitation that is 1,37469512 times that of earth." She explained. Spock nodded in understanding that was Vulcan's gravity.

They all started at the same time. Spock, the captain, Uhura and Sulu were the fittest of the bunch. Chekov, Scotty and Bones( she had been sort of friends with him at the academy ) not so much.

She spoke to Chekov first, in Russian. Devising a scenario tailored to rally even the last of his energies. Basically guilting him into push just once more. Just a bit farther. Just one more gravity increase. Just a bit more.

Bones was next to tire. Here she quietly spoke to him. Listing all the planets that had higher gravity. Devising a scenario that would bring out the desperate doctor. That would tug at his heart. It would lead to push him just a bit farther. Just one more gravity increase. Just a bit more.

Next came Scotty here again she spoke quietly devising scenarios that threatened what he held most dear. The Enterprise. It worked he pushed himself just a bit farther. Just one more gravity increase. Just a bit more.

But soon Sulu and Uhura were also starting to tire. I spoke to Uhura in Swahili and to Sulu in Japanese. She was now going in-between the 5 persons. Again and again nudging each of them to push themselves farther and farther.

Chekov was the first to stumble. She knew his border was reached. She programmed the tred-mil to calm down in the process of 10 minutes. When she told Chekov he would have only 10 more minutes to go and the gravity and speed would decrease he seemed very relieved.

In the end only the captain and Spock were left. She noticed the captain straining himself. She wanted to walk towards him and try to encourage him. When out of nowhere he suddenly seemed to get a burst of energy, his eyes however were far, far away. Actually knowing what she knew from the "download" she got from Spock Prime she could guess were his mind was. She pondered what she should do.

When she heard a gasp, she looked into the direction of the sound. She saw Uhura looking at the display of Spock's treadmill. It was at almost twice the setting she normally trained with at about 11 times that of earth. She had to fight to hide a smile. 'My little overachiever.' She thought warmly.

She programmed both of the remaining treadmills to slowly slow down within 10 Minutes. The Capitan was now clearly laboring with a gravity 4,5 times that of earth.

When the training came to an end. Kirk was gasping, stumbling of the treadmill and landed flat on his back on a mattress in the gym. Spock, yes well Spock would look a bit tired to everyone but that was it. She knew better. She knew he had heard her devising scenarios at least for Bones and Scotty. She knew he had used a similar method to focus his energies. For all his 'I am Vulcan and Vulcans don`t' talk he was quite human. She should know.

"Ok people well done. You are the only group that did not complain. Congrats for not being obnoxious. Tomorrow I will assess your martial arts skills. After that I will test your knowledge of weapons. And following that, I will devise a training program for each one of you. If I find you to be on a comparable level as others I will divide you up into the different classes that are scheduled to start next week. Dr. McCoy please distribute hypos to prevent sore muscles."

Everybody but Kirk, Spock and Bones grumbled but quickly ran lest she change her mind.

"Now what the fuck was that all about you psychotic bitch?" Bones asked her.

"I was trying to push you to your limits you obnoxious bastard!" she answered in kind with a smirk.

"Yeah physically not psychologically." He fired back.

"Mind over matter. Bonesy, Mind over matter. Do you really think you would have kept on so long if I had not provided you with scenarios in which you might have to?" she asked him.

And when she saw his annoyed look she knew he knew that she was right.

"So Captain, do you still think my training is unnecessary?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"No, I kinda like your stand on Illogic." Kirk said. She smiled. Of course he would.

"I understand your point, however I believe that apart from training with additional gravity you cannot provide me with adequate training. I am quite strong and a most efficient fighter, I believe …"

She cut him off. "Commander Spock I am a genius at physical expression, I have a black belt in several martial arts. Several of these martial arts are designed for fighting against a stronger and faster opponent. I have no doubt you would beat me arm-wrestling. But there are infinitely diverse races out there. Some twice or thrice as tall as us, and/or a lot stronger than us or even Vulcan's. Not to learn such techniques from me, when the possibility of meeting someone/ something stronger or faster is approximately 57.38 percent, would be illogical. I assure you I am capable of devising a training that will keep your mind and body challenged."

He raised his eyebrow, and then nodded. "Your logic is flawlessly sound." He bowed slightly and left.

She inwardly smiled, that was considered high praise from a Vulcan.

She turned towards Kirk.

Kirk still had a shadow behind his eyes; I thought I knew what it was.

"Captain, do you have something to add?" she asked him.

"I checked over the Training Drills you came up with. The programming is ingenious. Say why aren't you a science officer? Or even a communications officer? I mean you spoke to everybody in their native language. And how did you come up with your ideas for the Drills? I mean a lot of those scenarios seem incredibly imaginative and highly unlikely. I thought Starfleet already covered every conceivable thing that could happen."

She ignored his questions. "Yes well it is the inconceivable ones that I am concerned about. Does this mean the crew will practice these drills?" she asked.

"Well, some of them seem to be very Kobayashi Maru like. No-Win scenarios." He stated.

"That is not true. There is 1 possible outcome to each simulation that could be considered a win." She countered.

"Really?" Jim asked not believing her.

"Indeed captain. Perhaps you have not found it yet?" She suggested.

"Hm. You're good very good. Another question though why does my first officer seem so uncomfortable around you?

"I doubted anyone would notice." She replied.

"Yeah well I pay attention to him." He shrugged.

"Yeah, I bet you do." She said in a teasing tone her eyes twinkling. When Jim Kirk looked shocked and then worried she continued. "Don't worry, I doubt anyone other than Uhura has noticed. You're not obvious. I just am used to paying attention to everything, even the minutest details."

"Uh, ok. Uhm so why is Spock uncomfortable around you?" he asked not deterred.

"I have met him before during our academy days. He informed me then, that I look a lot like his mother only that his mother was older and brunette. I can't imagine it is easy for him seeing me every day. I color my hair red, it would be brown otherwise. And my personality is 'most antithetic'. " she gestured quotation marks around the last two words.

He smiled. "Yeah that sounds like Spock. But I get it. I'd probably be freaked to work beside a replica of my mom or dad too. Good Night Sam."

"Good Night Captain." She answered.

"Its Jim when we're not on duty." He reminded her.

"Good Night Captain Jim." She answered cheekily.

He rolled his eyes, smiled and left.

'So far so good', she thought. 'Now it will be interesting to see if I can whip this crew into shape in time.'

She only hoped that she was not interfering too much or too little. She couldn't just take over and do everything for them. They would not learn and grow that way. She breathed in. She would just have to trust her instinct in this.

Also what to do about Uhura, she was keeping Spock from his T'thy'la.


End file.
